Meditations from a Thirtysomething...

I remember growing up and seeing the television show “30 Something” in the late 80’s. The show always received rave reviews for its gritty depictions of baby boomers in their 30’s. At the time I quickly turned it off while at the same time thinking how much I hated one of the main characters long, Micheal Bulton’esque’ hair. The show had no relevance to me, I was just a kid in elementary and their issues and world views seemed alien and light years away. Well... here I am, having just turned 36 last week. I’ve lived, in my eyes, a successful life to date as I have a wealth of travel experience and have been fortunate to develop a number of sturdy, life long relationships. With that said, I have decided to grant myself a little Birthday self indulgence and write down a few meditations I have been having lately about life. Marcus Aurelius I’m not, but here goes...

Listen to other world views openly, without trying to trying to sell your own, “to hard”...

There are nearly an unlimited amount of different world views. You have the doers, the thinkers, the liberals, the conservatives, the foodies, the exercise junkies, the pessimists, the stoners, the over achievers... feel free to add to the list ad-infinitum. Each world view has pros and cons and generally can be applied to some circumstances with wonderful ease while fitting others horrifically. People that hold on to their view tightly usually try to surround themselves by people who think the same way. 

In my own pondering of Fredrich Nietzsche’s phrase “The Will to Power” I feel that the greatest demonstration of power is enacting ones own world view on to others. With that said, and not going into the social and political implications of that thought (for now... maybe another blog), people get tremendous pleasure and a sense of worth by getting others to think like they do, it’s the ultimate self validation. People, me included, really can’t stop themselves from trying to export their world view. The reality though is it almost never will be successful unless: A) the converted person is an utter doormat; or, B) the person pretty much thought that way to begin with. My comment here is learn about the world by watching the other world views than you have... soak them in, try to understand, try to intellectualize from that point of view, try to empathize with them. Doing this a great way to grow as a person.

In a sentence, try less to sell your world view and more to observe and learn from those you see around you.

Choose your battles, be easy going and flexible until you really have to go all in with confrontation...

Would you rather be right or happy? When I was younger I always wanted to feel that I was right. Connecting to the previous point, I was constantly trying to sell my world view to others. A conclusion that I have reached getting a touch older is simply – is there even a “right”? Think about that for a second, in terms of morals, scruples, and politics they each are culturally and interpersonally subjective and even in science – the so called bastion of the empiric world – a concept resides as truth until it is disproven. What I am saying here is that there really isn’t a definite “truth” except for what we as individuals decide that we want to whole heartedly believe in. 

Fighting to change someone else is self indulgence rearing its ugly head. Since most discussions of ideas are done in fun, spiced up perhaps with a little friendly competitiveness,  don’t bother fighting over them just enjoy the mental interplay. The caveat to this is if another person gratuitously attacks with malice the core of your world view. In those circumstances then it is worthwhile to go all in with confrontation, these moments should be used sparingly though and not based on perceived sleight.

The last quick thought I would say about getting older is I felt like I knew more when I was 20... everything seemed so definite in the ignorance of youth, at 36 I have pretty much realized how little I knew all along.