Maybe a Red Corvette

    Yesterday I achieved one of my life goals by seeing Prince perform live outdoors in Copenhagen. He was everything I knew he would be – a little singing, dancing purple dynamo... one part entertainer, another part little perfectionist general. Mid song, he would bark out orders to the sound engineer: “guitar down... more, please. “ Then pause... “I said guitar down – it isn’t happening yet. Guitar down, and raise the microphone.” A moment later he would be handing his guitar away and going to the drums to play for a bit, then the keyboard... The purple one was everywhere, a whirling dervish of mascara, high notes, and dry one liners. The majority of the show was an elaborate jam with his trademark funky grooves pouring over the crowd of flailing bodies. A Danish friend described the crowd right then as “hyggeligt” the unique Danish word for comfortable or cozy. It was...



“Nothing I love more than a warm summer night” says Prince as a real sexy mellow grove begins.”Uwwwwww... (in his trade mark high pitched voice) better not sing that. Someone’s going to end up pregnant.” The entire crowd burst out laughing. Another memorable one liner: “You’ve got to stand for something, or else you'll fall for everything.” All night he was playing to the crowd - in one moment hilarious and the next cool. He looked young too; if this guy is 50 either he has found the fountain of youth or got a little touch up surgery.  



Two hours plus of music hit its Crescendo with a rousing rendition of Purple Rain. With arms around my friends we sang every word. It seemed the show was over; an appropriate, if not a little cliché..., end had been reached. The stage went dark the curtain had fallen... but, NO it wasn’t done. The silence broke and that cheeky little voice was back on the microphone. “You didn't think we I leaving yet. Did ya? What y’all want to hear...? You can tell me. Uh, uh, uh... not all at once, I can’t make out 20,000 suggestions. I know it’s tough... we got so many hits!” People laugh but the funniest thing was that he wasn’t lying - he has to many hits to pick from. I was a little sad "Raspberry Beret" didn't have its time in the sun. Alas...



The last song of the night ended up being an extended version of “Kiss.” He let people from in front of the stage come up and dance. People came close to his backup singers. One girl even shared the microphone with one of them but no one had the nerve to try that with Prince. How could they...?, he still has undeniable star power, it seeps off him, and coming close enough to touch is just something that isn't done - it defies any international conception of good manners. The show tailed off with crackling fireworks as the band played on. I heard later Prince had arranged an after party so he could play even more. This man loves music, he lives and personifies it. His voice still hits the high notes with his trademark uhhhhhs and uwwwwws... He was, and still is, a true legend. This morning the sweet residue of a good night remained. “Maybe a Red Corvette, uwww, uwwww... this love is happening to fast.... 
 

The Vicious Circle

    I’m sure many people reading this are in a relationship, it may be a good one - maybe not. All the same, I feel like giving a few of my own thoughts about that most difficult of things – pairing up romantically. From what I’ve observed in other guys, girls and myself it’s certainly not an easy task. The main issue is the blame game... each gender blames the other for the pairing not working based on their previous experience. Now being male, I’ll look more so from the male point of view, but please be aware that I feel most of these concepts can be reversed to the female perspective too.

     An ugly aspect of attraction is how attention seems to have the effect of pushing things away while disinterest is a draw. Most people are interested in what they can’t have, not what they could... The allure is towards that person whom seems unattainable. Sadly with time a majority of people buy into this illusion and start creating artificial personas for themselves in their clothes and attitude. These facades might have some positive effects for that person in the short term, but in the long term it’s devastating as it hides their true selves away.

      It’s a myth that guys don’t have feelings and emotions... I’ve had thousands of conversations with guys over the years, of all types..., and there is lots of feeling there. Trust me. Pretty much every guy, I’ve ever met wants to end up with one girl not just fuck around and have meaningless sex forever. Of course if this was easy, everyone would be together happily and people wouldn’t be getting divorced.  With that said – lots of young guys are thrown off by our homogenized mass culture where the good guy is shown getting the girl. Being the chivalrous knight in white armour is cool on paper, but the results are lacking. Invariable this strategy back fires, it’s to heavy handed, it doesn’t comport to animal attraction and pushes away the girl.

      Where the real damage comes though is when a guy really likes one girl... The effect of doing the “right” things, entering a relationship, and that failing is incalculable. Sleepless nights and pointed personal questions aimed at one’s own character will be the result. This moment’s permanent effect differs, but a lot of guys will create a shield to prevent the same from occurring again. He will not let himself get attached in order to protect himself. Naturally this has the effect of driving the girl wild if she cares for him; a reaction that perversely devalues her in his eyes and makes him lose interest.

     Where the vicious circle comes into play is that a guy is hurt by a girl and becomes aloof and uncaring. In a justified response the girl becomes hurt too and reacts similarly by erecting her own shield... and what we now have is a really ugly, perpetuating cycle. People are coming up against the other person’s baggage, defences, and facades rather than the real person.  This cycle based mainly on power games and not getting hurt comes before people know each other on real terms.  Throw in the raw and incalculable power of sexual attraction, in both cases: when it’s there and when it’s not, and it’s easy to see just how wild this game is...  So why play right??? Simple: “You can’t win if you don’t play.” And with that said what choice do we have...?

One Hundred People, One Hundred Minds...

     I’m at a friends place near the beach in Copenhagen. As usual at a party a lap top is out and everyone is trying their hand at being a DJ. The group is really diverse so music choices are difficult...  To make matters worse there are a few music snobs in attendance. You know those types, their music - usually underground rock - is brilliant while everyone else’s more mainstream taste is rubbish. Eventually it got to the point that I didn’t even want to try to choose a song for fear of reprisal. The point I have here is just how different everyone really is. Music, like the taste of food, is totally subjective and is based on feelings they illicit for each individual person. A person’s taste in these areas can be expanded, but it’s nearly impossible to change. The best way to verbalise my ideas here is to steal the words of the wise DJ at the wedding I was at in Slovenia. When describing how hard it is to make everyone happy with wedding music he had the following to say. “One hundred people, One hundred minds”.

      The way a person sees reality is not learned, it’s inherent. I always loved the way Robert M Pirsig in his great book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Mechanics” summed it all up.  “Everyone is either a Platonist or an Aristotelian. People who can't stand Aristotle's endless specificity of detail are natural lovers of Plato's soaring generalities. People who can't stand the eternal lofty idealism of Plato welcome the down-to-earth facts of Aristotle.” To help clarify this point, I want to bring up a great conversation I had with an old friend last week in Slovenia. Now first things first, the two of us see the world in totally different ways. He is a quintessential how to person; how do I do this, how do I build this, how does it work. He is hard wired in the moment - an Aristotelian. Me, on the other hand, can sit in a room and completely disappear into my mind. I’ll take the time, to think about things. In this way I am living in the past, present and future simultaneously... and making connections between the three at once. I’m theorizing, thinking, dreaming - a classical Platonist. My friend and I, both being open minded, actually see this massive difference as a strength to tap in each other. We both have agreed, we could use an injection of the others thinking style. Unfortunately, our maturity in this matter, does not always spill over to everyone.

     What I’m getting at here is that even if we’ll never be able to agree on tastes, or how the world is.... we still have to do our best to respect other points of view no matter how alien they might seem. Sitting in a room of people that think and act the same as you do is reassuring, but it hardly lets a person grow. Further, it’s the group pressure to act in ways one is not naturally that is one of the chief engines in many people’s unhappiness. If there was ever a reason, I took to all of these travels it was to see myself grow inside, to become more accepting, and become less sure of just how things are. Difference is what gives the world it’s colour, and really it is always what I'll be interested in.

A Slovenian Wedding

 Sitting here drinking cappuccino after cappuccino scrawling into my notebook about the wedding I've just attended. I'm in shambles after getting in at 8 am last night after a post wedding party in  Ljubljana's free town Metelkova.

   The location of the wedding was beyond idyllic. The sumptuous bounty of nature our senses feasted on was equal to anything Canada could offer. On the terrace a top of Lake Bled Castle you could peer down and see aqua blue, crystal clear water with swimmers and boats dotted across its length. Competing for attention from the lake the background showcased magnificent, expansive hills covered by thick forest. This is the spot where the beginnings of the newly weds lives was celebrated and in earnest it was as good a spot as could be imagined, words don't do it justice. 

   When I looked over the wedding pictures this afternoon one stood out. In the picture, I could see my mate peering into his brides eyes obviously sharing a moment together as they were showered with rice. Fifteen minutes previous during the non religious service the orator had given us some words of wisdom on life and love. Afterwards everyone, including the bride and groom, would snicker how cheesy these words were. These wisdoms were highlighted by expressions like “love is a dove flying on the wings of a ray of light”, and “love stands, strives, and perseveres no matter what.” Sure it does... and all this delivered without a hint of irony and a straight face. The cynic inside of me grinned while hearing this. These words might as well be bullets shooting holes through this concept called love with their pompousness. 

    One look at the picture I speak of went past such silly utterances, it doesn't need the paltry perversion of words, it's inherent and intuitive – these people are in love and even with divorced parents I believe they are going to make it. The connection in their gaze is inspiring. Maybe it's my romantic nature at work, but somehow I know they will.

A Natural Fit

    Out the other night at the Start Music Festival, the third weekend in a row that there was some kind of cultural event in Copenhagen. I was there with two of my closest friends in Denmark.  A couple of girls started chatting to us. One was from Texas.  After a few minutes of conversation the Texas girl asks me: “How are you hanging out with these guys?”

A little surprised I replied: “what do you mean?”

    “Well, I’ve been here for 18 months and it took me pretty much that long to get in with any Danish people. And I even speak the language too.”

    This isn’t the first time, I’ve heard about this kind of scenario. Sometimes even the Danes themselves will say that they are closed. My experiences have been the exact opposite however. I met a friend from three years back with whom I now live and he introduced me to loads of varied people who quickly became my friends too. I’d actually say being a foreigner has had the opposite effect than the girl I talked to implied – it seems to draw people to me. I’ve been asked so many times since arriving 3 months ago.  “Why did you choose to come to Denmark?” People are really interested in what would bring me here. They like my authentic answer that I had previously traveled a lot of Europe and visited Denmark three years ago and was drawn back because of the friendly people and the liberalism.

      In my opinion it was easier to make friends with the Danes than the Dutch. In Amsterdam, where I lived two years, it took a long time to break through with new people. I think the main reason is a blasé, guarded attitude towards Amsterdam’s tourists many of who deservedly have earned bad reputations for chasing vice. Also in the Netherlands, the individual friendship group is held a little tighter and is more restrictive. The Dutch will expand, but it takes time. The benefit of that is that once you are friends with someone you will be through the good and the bad. The Danes on the other hand have been really open. They want to talk, find more about me, and see what I’m about. It felt unbelievable good for my closest female friend to tell me I was one of her close friends after three weeks. Comparably in Canada often I find a pre-requisite for friendship is equal status. Further, it felt really hard to expand an already established friend network in Toronto beyond the friendly acquaintance level. Here, that expansion has happened quickly and naturally. In my experience it’s best to find a place that you fit rather than trying to fit yourself to a place.

The Blue Coffee Mug

      

    It was as if a magnetic force had emanated from the very world itself... a long crack started forming in my blue glass coffee mug. I’ve never seen a mug just disintegrate like this. It wasn’t just a mug - it was the mug she gave me. She knew my habit of using the same coffee cup every morning. So one day by herself at the mall she bought me another one -the same but in blue. I never told her properly, but to me it was an amazing gift. I just liked that she was thinking of me. And now that very blue mug was splintering right in my hands from merely putting regular temperature water in it. Something was happening, there was some incongruence in the world, as it couldn’t just be chance that the day it cracked was also the day of our last cyber argument...  the last time we communicated.

    

   A Danish friend recently told me– “some of my girlfriends think that you don’t like them.” A little surprised I answered her by saying – “don’t be crazy of course I do.”   To which she added – “some of them told me they kind of fancy you, but you don’t seem to fancy them they think.” It was interesting to hear this, because it brought forward something that I knew. Something, I’d been trying to forget. I’m a fool, but I still love her. She’s beautiful to me, and she will be forever... long after her youth fades. She gives the world a blasé persona as a defence to protect her best parts: the shy her, the sensitive her, the artistic her, the real her. I once knew the real her, though not anymore, and I know I could live a thousand lifetimes and never meet anyone like that again.

   
     This tale is one of personal growth as when feelings get that deep you will change from it. I can’t sit here like some perfect romantic when in reality I failed myself and her. Life brings answers but in its due time, not your own...  I was so relaxed about our growing relationship. I let her put herself forward to expand it, and when we were a continent away I relaxed in the comfort that there was someone out there that wanted me. I didn’t push to come back together when I could have. I wasn’t explicit in the here and now. I was comfortable that it would remain, it would always remain... it didn`t.  And now I have nothing again... except a deep well of regret. And now each time I feel low – I know that it will be her I think of and what I lost in that moment when the blue coffee mug cracked.

Film Review: Source Code

    “Source Code” combines Science fiction with a detective thriller as Jake Gyllenhall awakens to find himself in another man’s body, talking to a beautiful woman named Christine (Michelle Monaghan) that knows him - but he doesn’t know her, on a train that is going to explode in 8 minutes. He will have this experience again and again.

     Confused yet!? Well, you should be... but with 93 minutes of brisk film making director Keith Duncan – of “Moon” fame - puts himself to task of making sense of it all. The concept of repeating the same day, or moment, repeatedly is reminiscent of “Ground Hog Day” but this time it’s done as a thriller. Does this intriguing premise pan out? Yes, what we’re left with is a well paced film that may leave some scientific purest scratching their heads a little, but audiences entertained with good suspense and character development.

      A real world dimension gives the story more complexity when Army Captain Colter Stephens (Gylenhal) wakes up in his own body after dying the first time on the train. He is in some type of army bunker – trapped and confused why he is there. His only real world contact is Colleen Goodwin (Vera Farminga) who speaks to him via a monitor. She informs him that he has been chosen for a mission to uncover who placed the bomb on the train so the bomber can be apprehended in the present. This is possible because of something called the Source Code, a new technology that allows Colter to relive the last 8 minutes of another passenger from the ill fated train’s life. He will be sent back to those 8 minutes again and again. Suspended disbelieve may need to come into play as aspects of the theory of the Source Code are a little preposterous.  

     The real intrigue of the film is back on the train where everyone is a potential suspect. Repeating the same event means there are no consequences for Colter’s actions. To amusing effect he yells at, beats up, and even robs people in his efforts to find the bomber. Character development is evident as suspects are eliminated from suspicion – then appear again in Coulter’s next 8 minutes unknowing to how they were previously treated.  The only person he can trust is Catherine as his attraction to her grows each time he returns. The attraction between the leads gives the film heart as their chemistry is pliable and believable thanks in large part to Monaghan’s performance.  

    In the end we are left with a thriller that does provide genuine twists, entertains, and leaves the viewer thinking after the film is finished. Is this film a mind twisting epic at the level of “Memento” or “Twelve Monkeys” – no, but for intelligent summer fare, it more than fills the bill. Good performances and mounting tension make me recommend seeing it.   4 out of 6 Stars.