Flirting with Toronto

      There has to be something said for the feeling of being home. You know that sensation... understanding how things work, how people will react to you, and being one of the people that can actually claim to be from a place. The last ten years, I have made a life of being the foreign guy; being the guy that learns about a new place and molds myself to it. With that said there is a certain comfort in being back in Toronto. I know things. I know the faux pas and how to get a smile; I know what everything costs in the stores and in social relations; I know the people...  If I say Stephen Harper or Rob Ford is a twat everyone will know what I mean. We all have a shared narrative in common.

      I took my chances travel wise: I went for it, and then I went for it again, then again... I had to see what it was like away from where I’m from and I have. Now the time is for me to take the accumulated wealth of my travels and forge it into something tangible here. The more I think about it Toronto is an ideal base of operations. It’s BIG, but you can get around; it’s cosmopolitan, but not so much that you feel like a stranger in your own city; people are aloof, but hey if you have your own doses of sarcasm and self defacing ironic candour to peddle what else would you want; people are competitive, but they always are in big cities where cool stuff is happening. All in all Toronto has a lot more positives than negatives, with the most overwhelming positive being that I can actually stay. They aren’t going to kick me out in 12 months and there’s comfort in that.

    Does that mean my travel days are over? Not by a long shot, however the days of just having a backpack and being able to leave with 20 minutes prep time might be. People might see it as insane, but I had that flexibility for the last ten years. I got more in me then being defined by my one dominant moniker: “traveler”. The time has come, now that I like the place I am, that I’m going to nest a bit. Maybe I’ll even do what a few years ago I would have been blasphemous to the travelers’ pathos and buy an actual bed, a couch, and a few amenities – maybe a plant... why not, right?  

    Truth is I’m still not a Canadian with a capital C. My life style choices have made me a touch incognito in my own country. There have been nights out back here in Toronto where girls thought I was from Europe. Milk it right...??? Probably should, but I don’t lie to them, I just say that I’m an Alberta guy (though I wish I could lie about that... :P )  that has been around a lot and that a mixed accent is what happens when you REALLY travel a lot. They like it... and it’s just the truth. I guess, it allows me to be slightly foreign even though I know this place well, which is kind of cool in its way.

     I figure the greatest challenge of all is re-definition of oneself.  I won’t give up my lust for difference and the unknown. However, I need to apply its vigour towards a different medium now - building my life here. Having a holistic life of good friends, having a comfortable place international friends can stay when they visit, a job - or better yet a career - I like, and hopefully at some point a relationship are where my new challenges lie.  Adventure can be where you are, if you allow it.  I’ll go as far as my ingenuity will allow. The hope is that after being a dark horse for such a long time that I can finally grasp my "poetential" and be the phoenix that rises from the ashes. I will build a quality life for myself one brick at a time.