In Cimmeria the Northern Lands of the mythical world of Hibernia Conan is born “literally” right on a battle field. By ten years old Conan, already a junior killing machine, has his world turned upside down when war lord Khalar Zim comes to his village in search of a mysterious mask. This mask, for reasons left a little vague, will give Zim the ultimate power to rule Hibernia. Escaping, but seeing his father and his tribe slaughtered before him Conan swears vengeance. The rest of the film an older Conan, played by hulking Hawaiian Jason Momoa : chases Zim, fights Zim, chases Zim, fights in quick succession Zim’s chief lieutenants, chases Zim, then fights Zim again. Mix in Tamara (Rachel Nichols) - Conan’s love interest - a beautiful girl, whose blood is needed to complete Zim’s ritual with the mask, and you have the essential cliché components for a run of the mill, boorish summer release.
My verdict is that you should skip this one. If you are interested in Sword and Sorcery check out Momoa’s other project HBO’s “Game of Thrones” instead. “Game of Thrones” has the epic feel that Conan wishes it could emulate combined with a more interesting, realistic fantasy world. If you still choose to see Conan despite my misgivings the only saving graces are “decent”, but over wrought action sequences and a nice aesthetic look for Hibernia.
In earnest, I found myself wanting the last fight, which went on and on..., to just end so I could leave the theatre. Not a good sign for any film. Only check this out if mindless action is your thing. I can’t recommend this to fans of the Conan franchise either as this felt more like Hollywood’s Hibernia then anything Robert E Howard would have envisioned.
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